There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
