Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
did you just send me my own nude
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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