if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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