Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
