she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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