i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
