U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
