Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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