The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
