i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
