I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
