She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
