just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
