Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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