Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
