Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
