White coat. Heels.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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