Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
