hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
