I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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