I think i peed on brittanys purse
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
