Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
