We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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