me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
