What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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