As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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