I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
