# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
