I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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