Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
