Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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