I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm really into asian looking animals
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
