its not stalking. its research.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
