I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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