Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
