I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
