Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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