It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
