your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
