Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
