Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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