It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
