I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
