yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
