You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
