oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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