It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
