Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I need water and some morals
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
