Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
