How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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