if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
