proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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