I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
