It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
